“If we can focus on making clear what parts of our day are within our control and what parts are not, we will not only be happier; we will have a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realize they are fighting an unwinnable battle…….” Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman … The Daily Stoic
What Holiday and Hanselman are telling us is the truth. As Persuasion Professionals (aka Professional Selling), we constantly push against it as we move leads, prospects, and customers through our sales cycles.
If we step back and examine what we control in the sales cycle, it comes down to three elements:
Beyond these areas, we have little or no control. We don’t control:
How can we be successful as Persuasion Professionals with little control over all the moving parts of a sales cycle? Mastering these three elements will separate you from your competition and ensure success.
Control over ourselves is a personal journey for each of us. Furthermore, becoming aware of yourself and others and acting with intent can set you apart from your competition. To achieve mastery of this element, consider enlisting the support of a professionally trained and certified coach. One of the best sources for these professionals is the International Coaching Federation. The ICF is the gold standard for ethics and regulation in an unregulated profession.
The activities for sales success are in your organization’s metrics and KPIs.
Sales activities and their process have a rigorous framework around them. They are all recorded and tracked in a CRM or other activity-tracking tool. With all the tracking and measuring around activities, you could argue that the individual salesperson has limited control of activities. However, even with all the monitoring, you can still choose how well you want to perform the activities that are essential to you and your business.
The sales conversation is the other element where you have complete control. Activities are objective and easy to report, track and analyze; the sales conversation is a black box. Only you and the buyer know what was said and heard. The perception of the discussion will vary depending on whom you talk to, as we all will have our perspectives. Since no one controls what you say, how can you optimize this freedom to achieve your ideal outcome? It starts with optimizing your conversation skills.
Perfecting your conversation skills is a study in human communication and can take a lifetime. The good news is that you don’t need a Ph.D. in human communication to improve your conversation skills and be more effective in your selling. You can set yourself apart from your competition if you practice the skill of curious listening.
Curious listening has three elements-curiosity, observation, and silence
The hard truth is that in sales, we don’t control much. Ourselves, our activities, and our command or mastery of the sales conversation are the only things we control. Activities are up for debate, but we can still choose to do them well or not.
Our absolute control is found in ourselves, what we are aware of, and our intent, and our mastery of what we say in the sales conversation. While being an exceptional conversationist takes time and practice, you can improve the quality of your conversations by practicing curious listening. Curious listening is that skill that blends curiosity about what is said, what we observe and gives space between the spoken words to achieve a deeper understanding and connection with others.